We are middle aged women and homeowners- we will take our boots off. I’m not going to stride into your hall with them on. In fact I probably want them off more than you do.
Welcome me with tea and preferably homemade cake. High maintenance, moi? Not really, just saying. A Hobnob will do. This sets the tone. If this doesn’t happen it often becomes clear that this is a financial transaction rather than an exercise in hospitality.
Tea making facilities in the room are ideal but you don’t need to leave a dessicated cookie shrink wrapped in cling film. I’m not going to eat it, in fact I don’t have the energy to do the unwrapping. Neither does a dribble of milk in a 1970s flask augur well.
Explaining the vagaries of the hot water system is kind but actually I just want a shower and a lie down. Or the other way round, depending on which of us (H or me) gets first dibs.
Some kind of cleansing product is useful. Youth hostels provide a hand wash dispenser which I’ve showered with – it was ok. I could reach it from within the shower. You – should you have wanted to, bizarre thought – could have sat on the loo and enjoyed my shower as well, so bijou was the arrangement.
If you provide a hair dryer, think about a mirror within reach of the cable. I dried my hair craning to see my head and then didn’t bother. Told Helen and asked if it was ok, mmm maybe a bit fluffy came the reply. Walkers hair. Sticky with sweat. Flattened by rain. Blown every which way by howling wind. Washed in generic cleanser, Delightful and hard to rectify.
Laminated notices deserve a post of the own but to be fair none of our stops have gone overboard, yet.
The place we are today is lovely and comfortable and very welcoming. We rang Robin our host from the top of the Wainstones- a little scramble with a full pack- and he said he’d come to pick us up in a red pickup truck with an exuberant sheep dog. And he did. And fed us tea and cake. And provided very decenthair products in the bath room. And is providing a Quality Breakfast in an hour or so’s time – I believe him. And is taking us back to Clay Bank for our onward walk today. And all for £60. Jolly good value.
It’s sunny outside already. I feel the pull of those hills. I’d like my breakfast now really so I can leave; but I also feel the pull of my tired legs so maybe it’s best I stay lying down for a bit longer.